We’re one of those weird families that avoid the TV like the plague.

The other day, my oldest said: “Mommy, I know how to turn on the TV. Do you want me to show you how?”

In other words, yes, we have a TV, but no, mommy doesn’t ever turn it on. Because maybe mommy doesn’t know how to.

There’s truth to that. We actually have Amazon Prime and Netflix. So we do watch stuff. Like Jessica Jones (love her) And, um, the GILMORE GIRLS!

Years ago when #RockStarDad left town to take the bar exam, he wrote detailed instructions on how to turn on the TV. Did I mention I married an English major? This means the instructions were too detailed for my bullet-points-only-please mind. I had to call him during the break in the middle of his freaking exam to walk me through the steps.

Several years later, technology advances, my mom (who can’t live without college football and the Redskins) gives us a super complicated, Internet-ready TV. I’m totally screwed at this point.

So I just don’t bother turning the TV on.

No time for TV time

You guys, we’re over-scheduled already. Who’s got time for TV?

The weekends mean the pool, church, herding children away from the oh-so-sandy sandbox, and stomping on ants. During the week, there’s the morning mad-rush to get everyone up and out the door for work. In the evenings, it’s dinner/play/read/bed by 7pm. I’m not sure where TV would fit. We’d literally have to trade something out.

TV disrupts sleep

I’m not a luddite (maybe). I use a smart phone and tablet, write a blog and over-do-it on social media. Also, I don’t actually care if your 2-year-old has her own iPad. But, since I sometimes write about sleep, I do suggest you arm wrestle her for it every night, so she doesn’t head to bed with it. Even if it’s off, it can disrupt her sleep. Today’s gadgets and TVs and cell phones have all these glowing lights and emit WiFi and blah blah blah technology stuff I don’t understand. Basically, they don’t create the best sleep environment.

And while I’m at it, I should remind you ladies to dock your own blinking, electronic crack elsewhere, too. Because less texting = more sleeping.

I’m not an idiot. I know TV time is coming. My oldest loves to sing Paw Patrol songs (thanks, kids at daycare). Even though he’s never seen the show. For a while, I actually thought Paw Patrol was one of those stories he likes to make up, something about a dog and a firehouse?

I’m raising boys. That means video gaming is in my future, too. And fights over how long they can be online after dinner instead of doing homework. And why can’t they get an Internet-enabled tattoo (is that a thing yet?)

No TV til TWO

My grand plan is “no TV til 2.” That’s what the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends. And since I don’t know how to turn on the TV, I’m giving this a try.

When I announced this, my brother-in-law declared:

Oh, I get it. Why you don’t let the boys watch TV: TERRORISTS.

Uh, well, sure, he’s got a point.

Anyway, when my oldest finally got to the magic media age of 2, little brother was only 4 months old. Which meant the “no TV til 2” challenge was still in play.

Little brother turns 2 next month, and big brother is really interested in joining the culture wars at school. Lots of which revolve around TV-ish things: Elsa and Olaf, Dory, Daniel Tiger.

So, dear reader, I’m reaching out to you. To learn how you manage TV time in your household. Teach me your ways. How do you instill good TV habits in your kid’s life?

The impact of TV on children

Here’s how to combat the following TV-induced evils we moms are supposed to be terrified of.

Lower verbal IQ

To fight lower verbal IQ, you should, um, occasionally talk to your kid.

Aggression

The research people suggest that you watch TV with the little sweetness. So you can explain how while Batman can get away with KUR-POWING bad guys, this shouldn’t be big brother’s go-to method whenever baby brother looks at him weird. (Also, have these researchers ever met a 3-year-old? These creatures seem to come in only two flavors: whiny and aggressive.)

Childhood obesity

How about guarding against childhood obesity by making sure your little lovely only eats organic, gluten-free doritos when watching her favorite shows? Or bribing her (with organic, gluten-free doritos) to run laps during the commercial breaks? (For all you DVR-raised, millennial moms, please refer to the Super Bowl to discover the lost beauty of the commercial break.)

The nature deficit

You can overcome the nature deficit by simply placing the kid and TV on your back deck. Let her bask amongst the sun’s rays and mosquitoes, while watching The Lorax for the 20th time.

Mom-approved TV programming

I polled my lady friends for their suggestions on good tot programming. Most of these shows can be found on YouTube, Amazon Prime or Netflix. Here’s the list.

Debbie Doo — Mickey Mouse Clubhouse — Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood (LOTS of recommendations for this one for teaching kids empathy and social skills) — Little Einsteins — Peppa (one mom reported this one potty trained her daughter) — Maisy Mouse — Curious George — Fireman Sam — Autonauts — Dinotrux — Caillou (this one got mixed reviews from moms) — Tumble Leaf — UmiZoomi (teaches math skills!) — Dinosaur Train — Sesame Street (ah, the classic!) — Mr. Roger’s (another classic!!) — Paw Patrol — Wallykazzam — Super Why (one mom reported this one straight up taught her son to read) — Wild Kratts

Comment below or share your toddler TV tips on Facebook at MothersRest.

Photo credit, featured image: Sven Scheuermeirer from Unsplash.com

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS
I’m loving this comment from a momma on Facebook:

Wow – that’s the first article I think I’ve read by someone who doesn’t let their kid watch tv that didn’t come off super preachy and judgmental! We are tv and movie lovers in our house – husband and I both grew up with plenty of tv and are both highly verbal, non-aggressive and did great in school with no attention issues. I definitely think you have to monitor tv time closely with kiddos – scary how quick they can zone out when in front of a screen. We stick to the more educational stuff – Sesame Street, Daniel Tiger and lots of kids music on YouTube. He also loves Disney – but what kid doesn’t? We are trying to have him watch less than we did but it is hard when we don’t limit our own tv time. We are working harder at listening to more music instead of leaving the tv on as background noise.